The Last Thoughts

Swimming in the ocean
I let myself get a little too deep
The current pulled me down under
And I could finally see

The land is constantly booming
People, places, everywhere
Under the waves I can finally think
Alone, with no air

I can see the light begin to grow
Time zooms by in a blink Seeing the waves flow by overhead
Lower and lower I sink

On land I wasted so much time
I stressed over little things and details
I should have savored the important things
What we worry about is so trivial

I see that now as I drift deeper under
Yet I don’t try to bring myself back up
For there is nothing I could do to fix the
Mistakes I made on the land, no cleanup

She’s in the sky above me now
And I’m down here, deservedly under
Still unknown to her is my appreciation
Too late I realized how much I relied on her

Just before she went to sleep
The last I saw her awake
My anger boiled over
I couldn’t stop telling her my hate

The next morning I was alone
And suddenly I saw
Dripping tears with no other soul
She believes she did wrong

To think her final memory before
She moved beyond the land, that dreadful place
Was filled with hateful noise
She thinks her sacrifices were mistakes

Regrets of wanting not
Course through my veins and beyond
Her gentle touch that I took for granted
Is forever gone

The land seemed to make me
Oblivious and unaware
I couldn’t recognize what was being done
How she could’ve chosen anything, but chose to care

I took these things as givens
Until they were taken away
She had to leave this earth behind
Knowing I ignored her generous ways

Deeper I sink
Alone now forever
Wave after wave
She deserved better

This is a ballad about an adolescent girl contemplating the loss of a parent, her mom, while in her last moments alive, as she is drowning, written by 13-year-old eighth graders Renee Begley, Lucy Czechowski, and Arianna Harris. Renee, Lucy, and Arianna all live in Haddon Heights and attend Haddon Heights Junior High in South Jersey.