The Disappearance of Rafael Arroyo

Rafael’s job in Philadelphia was simple: keep water glasses filled, put bread on tables, bring forks, clean messes, clear plates. [img_assist|nid=6830|title=Purple Bunny by Nicole FitzGibbon© 2010|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=225|height=159]But his unstated job, the one that no one spoke of but everyone understood, was the most important: be invisible. He kept his mouth shut and his body moving, swift and silent in black, pedaling his bike through the narrow South Philly streets, weaving amongst the tightly packed tables at La Strada, slipping between conversations and bottles of Chianti. He was good at it now. He had been practicing from the moment he stepped through a hole in a razor-wire fence and into a hostile desert where helicopters scraped the night sky with searchlights, rifles waiting.

Tonight was busy. Thursday is the new Friday. That was what Carlo said before the shift. We’re going to be packed, so keep things rolling. It’s hot out. Make sure nobody runs out of water. And Rafael did. The woman at table fifteen was getting down to a few centimeters above her ice cubes. Rafael moved in with his pitcher. She thanked him between bites of broiled fish. In the desert there had been no ice cubes. No pitchers. No thankyous. Just the heat, that unbelievable ceiling of heat pressing them down as if to crush them into the sand and be rid of them. The crinkle of an empty water bottle, the last warm drop on his parched tongue. Table eleven had ordered. Time for bread. Rafael walked back to the kitchen, scooping the empty plates off of table eight on his way. Thank you, thank you. In the kitchen there was a clatter of stainless steel.

Ant’ny, what’s this mod on table nine?

She don’t want basil.

Yeah, I can read. But the pesto’s the focal point. Without that it’s shit. You know better!

Javier caught his eye at the bread warmer. Fourteen needs a new napkin. Rafael nodded. The water, the water. His pitcher was empty, and the lady at twelve needed water. He filled his pitcher while he waited for eleven’s bread to warm. You want more water, eh? I’ll give you water. Rafael breathed in, breathed out, opened the oven, pulled out the bread with tongs and popped it in a basket. Out on the floor voices rose, ebbed, and collided, their tones warm like the candles that glowed on the tables. Wine glasses clinked. The lady at twelve’s glass was perilously close to empty. Rafael dropped the bread at eleven and a napkin at fourteen, and just as twelve finished her last sip, he appeared by her side with the pitcher, an angel bearing water. And into this image tore the rough voice, teeth stained with tobacco, eyes red from the sand and casually vicious. I’ll give you something to drink.  Rafael flinched as he turned away from the table. Javier caught his eye. Rafael lifted the corner of his mouth up and gave a slight nod. Bien bien. Everything bien.

Last Wednesday he’d been sent home early with nothing to do. Apparently Wednesday was not the new Thursday. When he’d [img_assist|nid=6829|title=Up The Bridge by Robb McCall © 2010|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=151|height=200]stepped into the apartment he’d heard Inocencia sobbing through the bathroom door. Everything bien bien here in el Norte. He’d slipped out without a sound to the bar down the street. When he came home hours later, drunk, she pretended to be asleep and he pretended to believe her.

Seventeen had finished their appetizers. Appetizer—he had taken this word apart, and it meant something you ate to get hungry. In the Arizona desert, heat and thirst stretched hunger into a thin, secondary concern. In the dusty plaza in the Sonora border town where the bus had finally left them, the coyote had told Rafael and his friend, A few kilometers through the desert to your ride. A day or two at the most. My guys, my polleros, will take care of you. Rafael cleared the plates from seventeen and replenished their water, the ice cubes tinkling in their glasses as he poured. Thank you, Rafael had told the coyote. Thank you for your help. But really, it was thousands of dollars that did the thanking, thousands of hours in the Puebla fields, thousands of maize cobs piled in Rafael’s baskets. By the second day across the desert trails the blisters on his feet had begun to bleed. They rationed their water: no one got more than two bottles a day. It was around noon on the third day when the woman from Guadalajara asked for more.

Rafael watched Anthony describe the specials to table five. Anthony’s grandparents had come from Naples. Rafael had searched for Naples on his cousin’s computer and it looked like a nice place to live, with palm trees and beaches and plentiful pizza, and Rafael could hardly imagine that it had once been so poor that people had fled it, as Anthony told him, in the rat-infested bellies of ships that took three weeks to cross the Atlantic. Rafael imagined, sometimes, when he heard Anthony speaking his few phrases of Italian to Carlo, that his own grandchildren would grow up speaking only snatches of Spanish, forgetting Mixtec entirely, and have nothing of their homeland but a headful of stories selected by their elders and retold so many times they had crystallized into fables. They would scoff at the thought of going back to the small town of San Mateo Ozolco, would probably never even make it south of Mexico City, would know nothing of Mexico but hat dances and mariachis and tequila. No. He and Inocencia were only twenty. They had time. As soon as they had saved enough money they would return to San Mateo and build a house with a real roof and a refrigerator with food in it, there between the two volcanoes, the silent snow-covered Aztec emperor’s daughter, Iztacchihuatl, and her forever fuming lover, the warrior Popocatepetl. Everyone knew the story. The emperor had sent the lover to battle in Oaxaca to get rid of him for good. But the emperor’s daughter died of grief, and when her lover returned, he carried her out and buried her, and the gods blanketed her grave with snow.

The four people at twelve were on dessert now. They were finishing their second bottle of wine, and the joke must have been good because the woman with the curly dark hair threw her head back when she laughed. Inocencia had laughed like that. Rafael had known her family, of course, but had met her when he got work unloading the truck at her uncle’s store. Rafael was a wisecracking skateboarder, his hair spiked, always blaring punk rock CDs his cousins brought back from Mexico City on his headphones.Inocencia was a reserved sort of girl, even, her words gently witty, her face calm as she weighed tomatoes and counted bulbs of garlic. It had taken him three weeks to get her to laugh like that, three weeks of her left eyebrow raising and the corner of her lip turning up, each time making him want it more, until finally he got it, her smooth throat stretched back, and that warm strong laugh let loose for him., and he knew he wanted to hear that laugh forever. Inocencia didn’t laugh these days.

The woman at table twenty was on her third glass of water, and she shook her head to her friend as Rafael refilled it. God, I’m just so thirsty! On the third day they had hunkered down in a dry creek bed for a bit of shade, and that was when the woman from Guadalajara asked for more water. She was in her twenties, maybe, a city girl with a missing tooth and a husband waiting in Los Angeles. She had been panting all along the trail that morning, falling behind, and the polleros were getting impatient. Rafael had lingered toward the back of the group, trying to urge her along, and was the only one who saw her slip on a rock as they climbed a hill. He gave her a hand up. Está bien? She nodded, bien, and Rafael saw blood on the knees of her jeans and fear in her eyes. And now she had finished one of her two bottles for the day already and was begging for more. You want something to drink, eh? Ha ha! She shook her head, but they took her behind the mesquite trees, and Rafael watched the last drop of water roll around in the bottom of his plastic bottle. In the kitchen water flowed into his pitcher, cold, clear. Everything clear. When he had told Inocencia on the phone that he didn’t want her to come across, there was just silence for a few seconds on the line, the quiet volcano. She said that she was coming. That they would be together. And he knew there was nothing he could say to stop her. Or maybe there was, but he’d wanted that raised eyebrow, that laugh, the strong smooth bones of her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as she kissed him, so bad that he could imagine it was only birds shrieking behind the mesquite trees. That the woman from Guadalajara had wandered off and found work on a ranch somewhere out there. Anthony gestured to him. The bar needed ice. Rafael started to fill a bucket, the scoop grating against the ice. The ice was in his stomach now, the way it was when he’d come home to hear sobbing on the other side of the bathroom door. That sobbing was a new sound, in the same voice as the laugh, his laugh. But this terrifying sobbing was not his, and never could be. And as Rafael remembered how he’d crept away from the door, out of the apartment without a sound, invisible, his face burned with shame and he threw his shoulder into the scoop, grinding it into the ice harder, louder. He felt the power in his shoulders, bigger now from the weeks of pressing the dumbbell he kept at the foot of their bed. Every Monday he added more weight. Javier appeared by the ice machine, his face concerned. Qué haces, wey? Tables thirteen and eighteen needed water. Fifteen and sixteen needed to be cleared. The bar didn’t need that much ice. Rafael hauled the bucket to the bar and poured it into the bin, the sound like stones clattering down a mountain. In the late afternoon of the third day on the upside of a slope, the woman from Guadalajara vomited and collapsed to the ground, her eyes rolling up like white balls on a pool table, her breath quick and ragged. When Rafael and another migrant tried to pull her to her feet, she just moaned. Rafael wanted to try to carry her, but the pollero would have none of it. Get up, he said, or we leave you here.

Leave me alone, then, you bastard, she said. Déjame en paz. In peace. And so they did. Don’t worry, La Migra will find her, the pollero said as they scrambled on over the mountain. And so they did. They found her two months later. Rafael had checked the Phoenix Spanish-language news websites every few days, that chill clawing in his stomach, until one day, there it was. Badly decomposed, wearing a blue t-shirt, missing one tooth. In peace.

And that was what Inocencia said, in the first week after she’d arrived in Philadelphia, her face closed and her eyes somewhere[img_assist|nid=6831|title=Self Portrait, Chemo by Janice Hayes-Cha © 2010|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=200|height=259] else, in the desert maybe, searching for water in the scorching sand. Or maybe it was that he’d gotten so good at being invisible. He’d tried to kiss her for the third night in a row, slipped his hand around her waist under her nightshirt, trying to reach to wherever she was, and she sucked breath in fast through her nose and looked at him and asked him to please, Rafael, for now, just déjame en paz. In peace. Rafael imagined that if peace was anywhere, it was at the top of Iztaccihuatl, sleeping forever under her blanket of snow. But not here. Table fourteen needed more water, and Rafael poured the glasses nearly to the brim. The graceful middle-aged couple dressed mostly in black thanked him. They were going to the theater, had to be out by eight-thirty, Anthony said. By the time Rafael got home it would be past midnight, and Inocencia would be home from her job at the taquería, sleeping, or not sleeping, her hair spread on the pillow like black silk in the light from the bathroom, her long lashes resting in the dark hollows under her eyes, and instead of asking her the question he could not shape into words, Rafael would grab the case from where he’d stashed it in the back of the hall closet, sling it over his back, and walk a few blocks to an alley where he would enter a dank basement littered with electronic equipment and empty beer bottles and take out the used Stratocaster inside, holding its cool smooth body in his hands. You know how to play this thing? the guitar’s original owner, a guy everybody called Joey Z, had asked. Rafael shrugged. I played an acoustic back in Mexico. But I can’t make noise in our place. Joey Z laughed. Don’t worry, I’ve got a soundproofed basement. We usually finish up band practice around midnight. Come by tomorrow after work and I’ll show you how to use the amp. Rafael did come by, and he came by the next day too, and hit the riffs he knew again and again and again, and although it might not have been good, it was loud, just for an hour it was louder than the screeching behind the mesquite trees, louder than sobbing, louder than the echoes of that full-throated laughter, louder than anything he’d heard this side of peace.

Marleen Hustead is a 2008 graduate of Rosemont College’s MFA program. She teaches English at Philadelphia University and Temple University. She lives
in Philadelphia with her Chihuahua, Pepita, and is hard at work on a novel. (Marleen, not Pepita, that is.)

East of the Sierra

The following story is the winner of the second annual Marguerite McGlinn National Fiction Prize. Visit www.philadelphiastories.org for details on the 2011 contest.

[img_assist|nid=6811|title=Buttery Light by Brian Griffiths © 2010|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=200|height=300]         The boy stays close. From the moment the steamship docks, his son’s jacket brushes his own. Lin-Hui thinks they must make for an odd sight: the taller, wide-shouldered youth crouching in the armpit of a man almost old enough to be a grandfather. But Lin-Hui remembers he was no different the first time he came to dai fao, San Francisco. He nearly climbed on his uncle’s back at the first sight of so many blue-eyed barbarians, their guns, their red goat beards. And now, even though he has seen ten thousand Americans, he thinks it better to keep the boy near. Anything can happen on Gold Mountain. It is not so certain as its name. Lin-Hui has paid for insurance. Should he or his son meet with death on this trip, they will not be left to lie in this ghostland. Their bodies will be shipped home; their spirits tended to.

            They travel by ferry from San Francisco to Oakland where they board a train, passing Stockton, Sacramento, and then climb into the Sierra: Auburn, Donner Lake, Truckee, over tracks Lin-Hui helped to stitch across the soil. They cross into Nevada whose mountains, their fellow tong yun now say, contain hidden clefts of silver.

            They will have to rename it now, one of the men jokes. Silver Mountain.

            A second-class dream, Lin-Hui thinks, and still it is enough to lure men across an ocean.

            Like Lin-Hui, the men are from Sunning County. They are staked outside of Reno, close to where Lin-Hui and his son are headed. As a precaution, Lin-Hui tells them he and his son will stop by their claim once they have finished. If the men do not see Lin-Hui or Chi within ten days, they are to come looking.

            Perhaps you have forgotten what the desert is like, one of the men says.

            Lin-Hui looks out the window. But it is late and the window shows nothing.

            Much can happen before ten days.

            I have not forgotten, Lin-Hui replies. He is glad his son is sleeping.

            At Reno, they get out. Lin-Hui buys Chi his first leather boots. They rent a small wagon, a single horse. They load bedrolls, rice, longan beans, dried fish, pots, and two shovels onto the bed. Lin-Hui also brings tea, a tin of liver pills. He does not want to exhaust the horse. There is not money enough to buy it if it dies. Lin-Hui tells Chi they must walk alongside the wagon. 

            They pin up their braids and wear wide straw hats to block the sun. They are careful not to stray far from the tracks. The land is as dead as Lin-Hui has remembered, like something cooked too long. Immediately his feet begin to flatten against the baked earth.

            Where are the trees? Chi asks.

            Lin-Hui has tried to warn his son. But such talk is pointless. How can one prepare for something one has never known?

            His son is not used to his new leather boots. The father cannot have his son limping with blisters; Chi must walk. Lin-Hui regrets not having purchased boots in Hong Kong and breaking them in during the weeks on the steamship. A foolish oversight. At least he has had the sense to bring binding cloth. Tonight they must wrap his son’s feet.

           

            As a younger man, Lin-Hui traveled to Gold Mountain twice: once for gold, which he found, and once for the railroads, for which he laid track. Six years after his second return, his uncle came to him. The villagers wanted Lin-Hui return a third time, he explained to his nephew, to fulfill a  jup seen yu, a final task. His uncle held up his fingers. Four men still waited to return home. Lin-Hui understood. He was to comb the deserts for the bodies of those taken by the railroads. He was to return east of the Sierra.

            Lin-Hui listened out of obligation to the uncle who had herded him safely through the first trip. But Lin-Hui said he would not return. In the following days, his relatives and neighbors plagued him.

             It is not right that these fellow spirits lay in untended graves, they reminded Lin-Hui. Our ancestors will not know peace until they are home, until they are properly buried in the family plots and provided for with incense, oranges, eggs, and money.

            Still, Lin-Hui refused.

            These men are clan, they insisted. To neglect them is a shame on the entire village.

            Lin-Hui knew all this. He was done with gum san. Find a younger man, he told them. Find two. Younger men, he repeated.

            But you already have one, they pointed out. Seventeen and true to his name. Chi is a boy of strong intentions, nearly a man. We have saved, they revealed, pooled our money for two passages from Hong Kong.

            Others have gone to Gold Mountain, he said. Ask Sun Wen. Ask Wing.

            No. Sun Wen has no sons. Wing has lost all his money to dice. Sun Wen and Wing are not lucky men. But you, Lin-Hui have a house and a little land, a healthy son and an obedient wife who has not frittered as others did, money on silk and pearls. You are lucky. Ji.

            Lin-Hui knew they were flattering him so he would agree. And he supposed he was lucky. At least compared to them. Many returned from Gold Mountain with nothing but holes in their pockets. Some did not return at all. There were men with other wives across the water. Others sent money home only to have it wasted by foolish women. Fortunately, his own wife showed more sense. She had born him a son and only one daughter–the girl already married and settled. If he was lucky, Lin-Hui thought, it was because his parents chose well. 

 

            At first, their task seems hopeless. The light is too bright. It is too hot, the eighth breath of the year, the time of ripening grain. But there is no grain here; it is too dry for fields. The sand, the stone, the scrub blur into one. 

            Lin-Hui catches his son dipping his bowl into a stream.

            The water runs slow, the father explains. It must all be boiled. Cold tea for day, hot for night. The Americans and Irish miners never understood this. They drank dirty water and whiskey and wondered why they were always painting the dust with their shit. He must watch his son closely. Chi may look like a man but he is not. He has not gone hungry or had to sleep on the ground. He has not had to carry all he owned on his back or been threatened with a knife. He has not seen a man fall to his death. Lin-Hui has tried to keep his son from such things. Now, however, he wonders if some part of him has brought Chi here as a test.                    

            They camp, search the surrounding area, and move on. Lin-Hui’s sense of distance has changed. They must move further from Reno than he remembers.

 

            After the third visit from the villagers, Lin-Hui’s mind began the journey back east of the Sierra. He did not want to return, but the darkness over his bed opened like a door and he found himself back on the high plains, whipped by dust. He found himself back on a land that cost too much to blast and scrape for track, a place to be traveled over and not one to stay, a place where white men feared their wagons might break a wheel, their horses an ankle, where the snow might fall early. From this worn, faded, stubborn soil leaves did not grow so much green as gray. Here the wind could twist the trunk of a tree into the knots of an old man’s knuckle.

            Here in the bleached sweep between the Sierra and the Washoe, winter fell hard and fast in December 1866. Men disappeared under drifts that crashed like waves. Here he made promises to the broken and dying; he swore to men like his friend Shen that he would not leave his fellow tong yun to spend eternity in the fallow soil of the eastern Sierra or even worse, in the rusty stretches of Nevada’s sands. He would help them with their ronggui, their glorious return home to Pearl River, to Sunning County, so that their children and grandchildren could see them into the spirit world with chickens, lychees, and all the money the men never made working themselves to death on Gold Mountain.       

            The door closed and Lin-Hui stared into the darkness. He could not refuse an obligation of his own making. He would settle his debts, right his wrong to Shen. Reaching out a hand, he found the soft hump of his wife’s hip.

  [img_assist|nid=6812|title=Ovation by Dorrie Rifkin © 2010|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=200|height=135]          I am going back to Gold Mountain, he said. I am taking Chi.

            She rolled from his hand onto her back. Chi wants this?

            Her words surprised him. They suggested he should have asked his son’s permission.

            It is an honor, he reminded her.

            Yes, she said. In the moonlight, he saw her hands go to her face.

            Lin-Hui thought again. Chi must see gum san for himself, he said. All the young men talk about it. Better that Chi go now and be done with it. You know he has already asked me about such a trip, he lied. 

            Neither spoke for some time.

            See the fortuneteller, she finally said. Begin the trip on an auspicious day.

            Did his wife think he had lost his head? Of course, Lin Hui said. Then: I am sorry to leave again.

            The first time he left, he was gone over two years, the second almost as long. He knew the song the washerwomen sang down at the river, the one about marrying Gold Mountain men, about dusty sheets and spider webs on the bed. He did not like to think of his own wife calling out the words.

            He said his wife’s name, pulled the hands from her eyes.

            It will not be as long this time, he reassured. There is a new steamship, an iron giant. The passage is now four weeks, half of what it was. We will be gone only a season, three months. In the meantime, first uncle will help with the fields.

            Have you forgotten what it was like there? she asked.

            No.

            And I have not forgotten how to wait.

             

            Gradually, their eyes adjust and they begin to see the small ridges and humps, the exceptions to an otherwise endless span. On the third day, they spot a telltale pile of rocks rising up from the scrub, a wooden stake placed to catch the eye. They dig. Lin-Hui watches his son.

            Do not force the pace, the father says. Be slow but persistent.

            The remains are wrapped in a tent fly. Lin-Hui tells his son to reach down and find the bottle. Chi hits the glass against his pants to shake off the dust and hands the bottle to his father. Lin-Hui breaks the wax seal and extracts a strip of cotton that he guesses was once part of a shirt. But the father cannot read as well as his schooled son, and so he hands the cotton back. Chi must decipher the painted characters that sum up this life. They are few: a name, a date, a place of birth.

            It is hard to read, his son says.

            It was written in grief. Concentrate.

            His son shakes his head. No. This man is from Kaiping.

            They recap the bottle, shovel the dirt back over the body. Lin-Hui has let himself forget. All he can be sure of is that no one was buried out of sight of the tracks. There was no time to travel further, to find a proper spot. They move ten, fifteen miles from Reno. They find one body. The remains are loaded onto the wagon and brought back to camp. They find other things, too: a rusted mallet, a jackrabbit’s skull, a tin cup, a chipped miniature of Tien Hou, the patron goddess of wanderers. Lin-Hui slips the cracked figure into his pocket.

 

            To hear the coyotes at night in the deserts east of the Sierra is to think this world is endless suffering. The boy has never heard such cries except in dreams. Lin-Hui remembers the wailing from before. His dreams are not of wild dogs but of Shen, white-faced and flying among the Washoe’s bony ridges.  

            Night makes a quick stranger of the day’s heat and they build a fire. When Chi tells his father he wishes for a thicker jacket, his father nods and explains that the men who worked the track were like them, Pearl Delta men, many from their own county. Some did not even own socks. They had never known the cold of a five-layer morning. It was the way they came to call that cold. 

            It is not lucky to be buried in five layers, his schooled son reminds him. The character for five sounds too much like the character for causing evil.

            Lin-Hui nods. It is why we called it so.

            To ease his son’s fears, to ease his own, the father tells his son about the emperor’s robe. It is all things he explains: the sea, the heavens and of course, the brilliant yellow earth. From the emperor’s left shoulder shines a red sun and a rooster, from his right, a silver moon and a hare. His chest bears the three constellations, his nape, the rock of strength. He explains the five qualities and colors, the twelve symbols of the emperor’s twelve powers. He describes the waves along the hem, the mountains rising above, the clouds along the chest, and the most important, the emperor’s symbol: the five-clawed dragon that brings rain each spring.

             Lin-Hui has never seen the robe of course, never been within one thousand miles of the Dragon Throne, but he has learned about it from his own father, repeated its patterns until they became as familiar as his own cotton jacket. It comforts him to think of the universe contained in silk.

             When the emperor dies, time stops. The emperor becomes a dragon again and a new emperor must rise from the depths. Time is renamed and begins anew. But the robe remains the same. The robe does not change. To not wear the robe is to invite the end of the world.

            His son sleeps. Lin-Hui watches the stars. In them, he sees the pale hands of the emperor. The father tells himself that his fears are pointless; all is as it should be. A perfect grip holds him, even here, even in the fallow desert east of the Sierra.

 

            They must wait out the hottest part of the day under the shade of the tent. To dig when the sun is overhead is to risk headache, cramps. Lin-Hui curses himself for trusting a scholar’s tea leaves before his own experience. He should have set his own date, waited until autumn.

            When the sun begins to sink, they head out. It is easy to miss the rocks; most of the markers have eroded and blown away. They spread to cover more ground but keep each other within sight. Lin-Hui cannot now fathom how he worked this ground for track, how they blasted through granite to get here. Even memory exhausts him. The day the lines from the east met the lines of the west, the newspapers wrote of conquest and progress. But the photographs of the two trains showed no Chinese, only American men in tight wool suits, their fingers clasped around clean mallets.

            Chi calls out. He has found rocks. They dig. 

 

             On the sixth day, they find Shen’s grave. They move the rocks and Chi digs. His shovel lifts the bottle into the air. The vial is closer to the surface than they would have expected. Indeed the cloth inside bears Shen’s name. They continue to dig. Lin-Hui prepares himself for the worst; he cannot remember if a tent fly was spared to cover the body. The hole grows deeper. Finally, they catch a glimpse of canvas. Chi bends down to brush away the dirt but Lin-Hui stops his son, bends down himself. He scoops the dirt to the side, expecting to touch bone through the fabric. But there is nothing. The canvas is empty. Shen’s body is gone.

            Chi gasps.

            Stop that, Lin-Hui demands. His son is crying. The father refuses to let the boy see his own fear. Coyotes, wolves, he says and waves a hand towards the hills.

            Chi shakes his head. It was covered in dirt. Dogs do not cover empty graves.

            Lin-Hui could tell his son that when Shen died, he could not find the strength to shovel the frozen ground and bury his closest friend. He could tell his son Shen’s body lay in the snow for seven days until fearing animals, others took on the task. But Lin-Hui does not tell his son any of this. He does not want his son to think that the world rewards such behavior. The desert snatches weak men. Even more, Lin-Hui does not want his son to see him as such a man. Lin-Hui is tired and raw and cannot control his anger.

            He hits the ground with his shovel again and again. This is nothing! You have been spared the worst stories. You will never know what it was to suffer here.

            His son continues to cry, mumbling about ghosts, curses. Lin-Hui raises his hand and slaps his son hard across the jaw.

           

            There is no more crying. They speak of the task at hand: of shovels, of cloth strips, of boiling water for rice and tea. At night, when Lin-Hui tests his son to see what he has learned of the emperor’s robe, his son rolls his back to the fire and pretends to sleep.

            After eight days, Lin-Hui calls off the search. They have recovered three of the four men. The skeletons are all burned to remove any remaining flesh, then dried on flat rocks. They place the bones in white muslin sacks brought from home, soft coffins sewn and embroidered by a wife or mother who, thousands of miles away, sits waiting for her man to return.

            It is a two-day walk back to Reno. The miners offer dinner. As they board the train for San Francisco, Lin-Hui knows he is abandoning Shen forever. Shen has been lost to the desert, a sand ghost. Lin-Hui wonders if curses are strong enough to cross an ocean.

 

            In dai fao, San Francisco, they pamper themselves like merchant men. They sit on polished bamboo stools and eat shark fin soup on the top floor of a restaurant. They do not talk about the desert. Lin-Hui sends word ahead about Shen and the other three and then vows that no part of him–foot, mind, or tongue will ever return east of the Sierra. With one week to fill before the steamship departs, they check into a boarding house and tour the streets. Lin-Hui marvels at the buildings and stops in Chy Lung’s Bazaar for gifts. They eat salted plums, spit the seeds as they meander. So many new places, shops, sidewalks. Little China has grown he tells his son. A city now, eight blocks!

            But the father also sees what has not changed: the tide of men, the endless bobbing waves of black jackets, hats, and braids. He sees the old men, young enough when the gold was found, who now sit on stoops and peddle old cups and spoons. Lin-Hui has always believed that what the universe intends for tong yun is clear: fields, a wife and sons, a daughter to help clean and cook. This bachelor society, with fifteen males for every female is not natural. And children, what few exist, are spoiled by lonely men who pay to be Sunday uncles. No, there can be no family here. At most, dai fao is a place for work, not one to stay.

            As Lin-Hui turns to share these thoughts with his son, he realizes he is looking at the back of his Chi’s jacket. The boy now walks two steps ahead as if he already knows his way around Fifteen Cent Street. Lin-Hui watches his son’s braid snap from side to side. They have just been to the barber’s shop and now his son’s braid hangs thick and polished as an ink brush. The father decides the desert has in fact, yielded treasure. It has revealed the man hidden in the depths of his boy.

           

            On Sunday, they sip tea and eat sweet bean cakes in a darkened theater on Jackson Street. They watch four plays sung by painted men who tell of heroes and gods, of ancient battles and sacrifice. Like everyone in the audience, Lin-Hui and his son know how the stories will end. But they watch anyway and are no less moved. Between the acts, Lin Hui talks with old friends, men he worked with when they were able to crouch in the dirt for hours. One man sets and swings himself forward on a crutch. He points to the empty space below his ankle: dynamite.

            Your father is a clever man, they tell Chi. Sifting the dust from the floor of cabins abandoned by American miners. Content to gather small treasures when others looked for the mother lode. They tap their foreheads to show their admiration. Lin-Hui shakes his hands and pretends to quiet them. He was a little lucky, that is all. In truth, he is pleased his son hears their words.

            They will be going back to Sunning County, they all say, land of oranges and lychees. To not come back to the delta is like wearing silk in the dark. If no one can see the money, what does it all matter?

            Some press letters into Lin-Hui’s hand to pass on. Others give him coins and make him promise to stop by their lands. 

            Soon, very soon we will see you there, they repeat.

            Lin-Hui nods. Yes. Very soon.

            But he knows he will not see them in Sunning. His friends are now gum san ghi, Gold Mountain men. They are Chinese yes, but this place has made them something else–not American–they can never be that, but between. They drink whiskey and coffee. They have traded slippers for boots, round caps for felt bowlers. Some have even cut their hair. From the back perhaps, they could be mistaken for American. Lin-Hui wonders if in fact, this is what his friends desire. They have stayed too long. Sunning County is no longer home, no longer even a place. It is like the emperor’s robe, an idea to think about, a comfort in this ghostland.

 

            The next morning Chi announces he will not be boarding the ship. 

            The Lin-Hui laughs. The gold is long gone, the railroad done. Many men, even American men, are out of work. They blame Chinese and rough them up. No, the time for Gold Mountain is over.

            Chi repeats that he will stay.

            Have you so quickly forgotten why we have come? Lin-Hui asks. The white muslin sacks waiting to return home? And what of the others who never will, spirits like Shen? They trapped here forever.

            I will not end up like them.

            Don’t you see why the city grows? Lin-Hui pleads. The men do not return. When it is time for their leaves to fall, they will not find their roots.

            Old sayings are for old men.

            Lin-Hi raises his hand to slap his son for a second time but the boy does not turn away. He juts his chin, offering his cheek. I am not a coward. Opening his pocketknife, Chi holds the blade to the back of his neck.

            Lin-Hui cries out. He reaches for the knife, but he is too late. The blade slices through the braid. His son’s hair falls, sounding with a knock against the floorboards.

             I too, am clever and dutiful, the boy tells his father. I will make my own ronggui. I will return to Pearl River to buy more land, to build new rooms for your house! In the meantime, I will send money just as you did.

            Lin-Hui does not hear any of this. He sits on his bunk. It is done. To return now will mean a fine or prison, misfortune on the village. His son must remain on Gold Mountain long enough to grow his braid back. His son’s remaining hair falls forward in a jagged hem along his jaw. It cannot remain like this, crazed, unkempt. They must return to the barber to have it shaped American-style like the other gum san ghi.

            The next morning, the boy’s passage is sold. The boy tries to give the money to his father but Lin-Hui tells him to keep it. He tells his son to sell his hair. It is all he can offer now. The son helps his father carry a trunk with gifts and the three muslin sacks onto the steamer and waves goodbye. As Lin-Hui settles into the hold with the other Chinese, he realizes he now has twenty-six days to practice what he will tell his wife.

 

            Lin-Hui sits on a bench in the shade of a longan tree. He looks over fields bought long ago with gum san money. Today marks the start of bai lu, white dew, the fifteenth joint of the year, the pause before autumn’s amber breath. He is an old man now, more than sixty. He has lived longer than a man should, longer than Sun Wen who died three years ago from water in the chest, ten years longer than first uncle. This morning over rice and dried fish, Lin-Hui’s wife said they must go to the tailor to commission burial robes. It is the third time she has said this.

            Death is an eternal winter, she reminded him. One must dress warmly for it. 

            He can hear the women singing down at the river, chanting the same songs as their mothers. Dusty sheets. Spider webs on the bed. He closes his eyes to hear the words but is quickly interrupted by a man’s voice. It has been years since Lin-Hui has allowed himself to hope. He received a few letters: one posted from a silver mine, a fishing camp, then artichoke fields, then nothing.

            Lin-Hi opens his eyes. It is only Wing–Wing who was too unlucky to be sent to Gold Mountain, so unlucky that he is now grandfather to five boys, so unlucky that his eldest son has recently presented him with a burial suit embroidered with silk cranes. Lin-Hui’s friend stops to sit. Of late, Wing likes to talk of the southern rebels and their growing numbers. He draws lines in the dirt with his cane. Sometimes, Lin-Hui thinks, Wing talks as if he himself were riding in the rebels’ flanks. Lin-Hui does not think Wing sees these battles for what they are. After all these years, his friend is still a gambler. Wing sees this world as a game to be won or lost, then played again. But Lin-Hui understands the stakes–the end of the emperor’s robe, the unraveling of the universe.

            Wing raises a finger in the air. Even some of the soldiers now side with the rebels, he pronounces. Soon, no more Manchu.

            Lin-Hui sees his wife toss scraps to the chickens. He has seen enough change.

            Wing laughs. Ai-yah! For thousands of years, China has been sleeping. Now it will wake up! A new century. A new China. Such news is wasted on you, Lin-Hui.

            Lin-Hui watches Wing make his way down to the river to bother the washerwomen. He watches a leaf fall and sail with the wind. Tomorrow, Lin-Hui decides, he will go to the tailor. He knows winter, its many layers.

            He has not kept his promise never to return east of the Sierra. In his mind, he has gone back many, many times. He cannot say when the door will open–as he listens to his wife turn at night, as he watches her with the chickens, as the women gather at the river. In his mind, he makes it right. He holds his calloused hand back from his son’s cheek. He explains that Sunning men were not meant for this place. He touches his son’s shoulder and tells him that older, stronger men wept there. He tells him it is wrong to bring a boy into the desert to make amends for his father.

            He sits and waits. At the river, the women are singing again. Perhaps, they have grown tired of Wing’s war talk and sent him away. Such battles are not their stories. What happens now will be decided by young men. Lin-Hui listens to the voices for a moment, then hums to their song.

 

Allison Alsup lives with her husband in New Orleans. This story is from an emerging work centered on the lives of Chinese-American immigrants at the turn of the century. Other stories from this collection have won awards from New Millennium Writings and from A Room of Her Own Foundation.

Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction

This annual national short fiction contest features a first place $2,000 cash award and invitation to an awards dinner on Friday, October 13th, on the campus of Rosemont College; a second place cash prize of $500; and third place cash prize of $250. The first place story will be published in the print issue of Fall 2017 of Philadelphia Stories; the second and third place winning stories will appear in the Fall 2017 online issue. The Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction is made possible by the generous support of the McGlinn and Hansma families.

Contest Submission Guidelines:

  • Submission period: January 1-June 15, 2017.
  • Previously unpublished works of fiction up to 8,000 words. Please note, “published” includes any work published in print or online, including online magazines, blogs, public social media sites, etc.
  • Multiple submissions will be accepted for the contest only. Simultaneous submissions are also accepted, however, we must be notified immediately if your work is accepted elsewhere.
  • Only authors currently residing in the United States are eligible.
  • Submissions will only be accepted via the website. Please email contest@philadelphiastories.org if you are having any trouble with your submission.
  • There is a $15 reading fee for each story submitted.
  • All entrants will receive a complimentary copy of the Philadelphia Stories contest issue.
  • Winners will be announced by October 1, 2017.

    CLICK HERE TO ENTER THE CONTEST.

[img_assist|nid=20652|title=Robin Black|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=100]About the 2016 Judge: Robin Black’s story collection, If I loved you, I would tell you this, was a Finalist for the Frank O’Connor Story Prize and the winner of the 2010 Philadelphia Athenaeum Fiction Award. Her novel Life Drawing, was long listed for the Flaherty-Dunnan First Novel Prize, the Folio Prize, and The IMPACT Dublin Literary Award. Her newest collection, Crash Course: Essays From Where Writing and Life Collide, has been called “an oasis for writers at any stage” by Karen Russell. Black’s work has been published in such publications at The New York Times Book Review, One Story, O. Magazine, Conde Nast Traveler, and The Chicago Tribune. She was the Distinguished Visiting Writer at Bryn Mawr College and will begin teaching in the Rutgers Camden MFA Program in 2016.

About the Previous Winners

[img_assist|nid=20532|title=|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=48|height=86]2015 FIRST PLACE: Bob Johnson holds an MFA from the University of Iowa Writers Workshop. His stories have appeared in the online journals Wag’s Revue and Winning Writers. He was a finalist in Glimmer Train’s 2014 “Family Matters” fiction contest and a 1st Runner Up in Pinch Journal’s 2015 Literary Awards. He lives in South Bend, Indiana, with his wife Cindy and his retriever/lab mix Ellie. Much of his Monday-Friday career has been spent teaching, and in various creative capacities at the CBS affiliate in South Bend, WSBT-TV. Click here to read the full press release. Click here to see Bob read at the awards ceremony.

[img_assist|nid=20533|title=|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=76|height=102]2015 SECOND PLACE: Oindrila Mukherjee is an Assistant Professor at Grand Valley State University. She has worked as a journalist in Calcutta, India, and been the creative writing fellow in fiction at Emory University. She is a regular contributor to the Indian magazine Scroll, and is currently working on a novel set in India and a collection of stories about recent Indian immigrants in the US.

[img_assist|nid=20534|title=|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=62|height=86]2015 THIRD PLACE: Larry Loebell is a Philadelphia-based playwright, fiction writer, filmmaker, and teacher. He is a four-time recipient of the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts Fellowship in playwriting, and was a Barrymore nominee for his play, House, Divided. He wrote and directed the film, Dostoyevsky Man, and his second feature, Portrait Master, will premier in 2016. He has recently completed a short story collection, which includes “49 Seconds in the Box.”

About the 2015 Judge
[img_assist|nid=17854|title=Bonnie Jo Campbell|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=100|height=67]Bonnie Jo Campbell is the author of the novels Once Upon a River, a National Bestseller, and Mothers, Tell Your Daughters (Autumn 2015). Her critically acclaimed short fiction collections include American Salvage, which was a finalist for both the National Book Award and the National Book Critic’s Circle Award; Women and Other Animals, which won the AWP prize for short fiction; and Q Road. Her story “The Smallest Man in the World” was awarded a Pushcart Prize and her story “The Inventor, 1972″ was awarded the 2009 Eudora Welty Prize from Southern Review. She was a 2011 Guggenheim Fellow. Read the full press release about this year’s judge here.

About the Previous Winners

[img_assist|nid=13908|title=Chad|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=46|height=68]2014 FIRST PLACE: Chad Willenborg teaches writing at the Art Institute of Philadelphia, though his resumé tracks stints as a bartender, a gravedigger, a dry ice blaster, and a wild game packer. Click HERE to read Chad’s winning story, Stone and Paper and Vinyl and Skin, and HERE to hear judge Julianna Baggott introduce Chad and hear from his winning story at the award celebration.

 

2014 SECOND PLACE: Mary McMyne lives in northern Michigan, where she is an assistant professor of English and fiction editor of Border Crossing at Lake Superior State University. Learn more at marymcmyne.com. Click HERE to read Mary’s winning story, Camille.

2013: FIRST PLACE
[img_assist|nid=10792|title=Che|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=57|height=71]Che Yeun earned her B.A. in History & Sociology of Science from the University of Pennsylvania, with a focus on biomedical ethics. She is currently an M.F.A. candidate at the University of New Orleans, and the Stanley Elkin Scholarship recipient for the 2013 Sewanee Writers’ Conference. Her short fiction received the 2012 Enizagam Literary Award and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her work can be found in The Pinch, Enizagam and Kartika Review. She is working on a collection of short stories. Click HERE to hear Che read from her winning story. Click HERE to hear what judge Michael Martone had to say about her story (and hear his Push to Publish keynote address HERE).

2013: SECOND PLACE
[img_assist|nid=10797|title=Annam|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=90|height=74]Annam Manthiram is the author of the novel, After the Tsunami (Stephen F.  Austin State University Press, 2011), which was a Finalist in the 2010 SFA Fiction Contest and in the 2012 New Mexico/Arizona Book Awards, and a short story collection (Dysfunction: Stories, Aqueous Books, 2012), which was a Finalist in the 2010 Elixir Press Fiction Contest and in Leapfrog Press’ 2010 Fiction Contest.

[img_assist|nid=9340|title=Adam Schwartz|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=75|height=100]2012 Winner of the Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction: The winner for the fourth annual Marguerite McGlinn National Prize for Fiction is Adam Schwartz’s “The Rest of the World.” Board members reviewed more than 400 stories for this year’s contest. Nine finalists were reviewed by celebrated author and 2012 judge, Kevin McIlvoy. He was impressed with the quality of all nine finalists, but finally selected Schwartz’s “The Rest of the World” as the winner. McIlvoy desribes the piece as an “unflinching story, written with remarkable sensitivity and skill, [that] pours darkness into your heart at the very moments it pours in piercing light.” Read about the 2012 winner HERE. Hear Adam read from his story on WFTE’s “Tell Me a Story” program by clicking HERE for Part One and HERE for Part Two..

[img_assist|nid=7775|title=BG Firmini|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=50|height=66]2011 Winner of the Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction: B.G. Firmani. After board members narrowed down 300 story submissions to nine finalists, renowned author and 2011 judge Steve Almond chose New York City resident B.G. Firmani’s story, “To the Garden.” Read the full announcement of the 2011 winner HERE. Click HERE to see a slideshow of the awards  ceremony held on the campus of Rosemont College. Click HERE to hear Ms. Firmani read from her winning story at the awards ceremony.

[img_assist|nid=6585|title=Allison Alsup|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=75|height=100]2010 Winner of the Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction: Allison Alsup received the $2000 prize for her story, “East of the Sierra”, which was chosen by contest judge Ru Freeman as the winner. The story was published in the Winter 2010/2011 issue of Philadelphia Stories. Click HERE to hear Ms. Alsup read from her winning story at the awards ceremony held on the campus of Rosemont College, or visit  WFTE.org to listen to the podcast.

[img_assist|nid=8409|title=Katherine Hill|desc=|link=node|align=left|width=82|height=100]2009 Winner of the Marguerite McGlinn Prize for Fiction: Katherine Hill received the $1,000 prize for her story, The Work Boyfriend, which was chosen by contest judge Elise Juska as the winner. Her winning story was published in the winter 2009/2010 issue of Philadelphia Stories. Click HERE to hear Ms. Hill read at our 2010 Marguerite McGlinn National Prize awards celebration.

About Marguerite McGlinn
Marguerite McGlinn was the essay editor of Philadelphia Stories from 2004-2008. Her travel stories appeared in the New York Times, the Sun-Sentinel, the Philadelphia Inquirer and the Los Angeles Times. She edited The Trivium: The LiberalArts of Logic, Grammar and Rhetoric (Paul Dry Books, 2002). Three of her short stories won places in “Writing Aloud,” a program of dramatic readings that matches contemporary fiction with professional actors. She was an adjunct instructor at Saint Joseph University in Philadelphia, and her story “The Sphinx” appeared in the Fall 2007 issue of Philadelphia Stories and the second volume of the Best of Philadelphia Stories (2009). Her mystery novel, Murder in the Yeats Castle, was published posthumously (TWM Books, 2014).

Philadelphia Stories Beginner Fiction Workshop

Philadelphia Stories Beginner Fiction Workshop:  An 8-week fiction workshop from the area’s popular magazine designed to offer inspiration, writing prompts, and peer critique for beginning writers.


The course:  This class focuses on writing short stories.  Students will write two short stories during the 8-week course.  No novel excerpts please as they are difficult to critique in a short course.  The goal of the workshop is to provide a safe and fun environment for beginning writers to delve into writing and learn through the peer-critique process.  



ModeratorSusan Barr-Toman earned an MFA in Creative Writing and Literature from Bennington College.  Her debut novel When Love Was Clean Underwear was selected by author Ann Hood as the winner of the Many Voices Project.  She teaches creative writing at Temple University.

Fee: $200.
 
Schedule: Mondays, September 27 – November 15, 6:30-8:30PM.
 
Location: Trinity Center for Urban Life, 22nd and Spruce Streets in Center City
                      
For more information, please email Christine@philadelphiastories.org.

Good Beginnings

[img_assist|nid=841|title=Aimee Labrie|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=86|height=100]Every two months, I sit down with a stack of short fiction submissions to read for Philadelphia Stories. I am asked to go over each story carefully, to evaluate them according to a grid of basic storytelling techniques and then to give general feedback about the story. I know that behind every piece I read is a writer anxious to have his or her work published, so I try to keep an open mind, from the first page to the last. But, if I’m honest, my overall opinion is largely influenced by how the story begins. If I’m hooked in the first paragraph, I am more likely to give the writer the benefit of the doubt on page three, when he stumbles on an awkward bit of dialogue. If, however, the story opens with a mew, with an alarm clock going off, for instance, my guard is up—I’m girding myself for a “day in the life” story, one where nothing much happens up until the very end, when the central character realizes that it was all a dream! 

Think of the beginning of your story as similar to how you tell a story in real life, like how you might give a toast at your friend’s second wedding. First, you start by getting everyone’s attention—you crush a champagne glass under your heel or pull up your skirt or give a holler on the karaoke mike. There’s a lot going on at weddings, just as there’s a lot happening in your reader’s life, so you have to make your opening startling.

Once you’ve gotten their attention, you must also recognize that you have a limited amount of time, just enough to tell maybe one or two key events in the fated meeting of the bride and the groom, so you must focus immediately. You can’t give every single detail of their courtship and you certainly don’t need to start with their disastrous first date. Instead, do as Kurt Vonnegut suggests and start as close to the end of the story as possible.

In short fiction, you have an economy of space and you must use it wisely. This means that your opening should establish the who, what, where, and when of the story. We should know pretty much immediately who the central character is, what the conflict involves, where the story is set, and when it’s taking place. If your reader is floating in space, unanchored in any particular details of the now of the story, she is going to tune out and go make herself a cheese sandwich.

And here is where my wedding toast analogy breaks down, because a good beginning also has to start with trouble, whereas a nuptial speech should probably not mention any previous illicit affairs or indiscretions. We should know from the very first sentence of a story that something is amiss, perhaps even gravely wrong.

But don’t just take my word for it. Let’s take a look at first lines of a few of the short fiction published in The Best American Short Stories 2009. The twenty stories in this collection are culled from thousands published in literary journals across the country. Somehow, they stood out from the rest, and I believe it’s in large part because the first line delivers:

“‘Never take you back, son, hard as it break my heart,’ Aunt Cleoma had told Rubiaux. ‘This is the last you come home like this—we don’t break this demon now.’”

                                                            “Rubiaux Rising,” by Steve de Jarnatt

“After my little brother died, we moved from the house on the lagoon to a two-bedroom apartment near I-95.”

                                                            “The Farms,” by Eleanor Henderson

“The girl, unlike most people photographed for fashion magazines, was not beautiful.”

                                                            “A Man Like Him,” by Yiyun Li

“Because Paula Blake is planning something secret, she feels she must account for her every move and action, overcompensating in her daily chores and agreeing to whatever her husband and children demand.”

                                                            “Magic Words,” by Jill McCorkle

Addiction, death, the unexpected, a secret—each opening sentence promise us something interesting. They start with conflict and an implied question we want answered—will the addict kick his habit? How did the little boy die? Who is the girl in the photo? What is the woman hiding (and will she get caught)?

So the next time you’re getting ready to send your story in to a literary magazine, look very carefully at the opening. Because though I promise I read every word as an editor, I am influenced by the beginning. I also can’t speak to the rest of the publishing world—those who see a wobbly start to a story and move on to the next manuscript without a second glance.

Aimee LaBrie received her MA in writing from DePaul University in 2000 and her MFA in fiction Penn State in 2003. Her collection of short stories, Wonderful Girl, won the Katherine Anne Porter Prize in Short Fiction in 2007 and was published by the University of North Texas Press.Other stories of hers have been published in Minnesota Review, Pleiades, Quarter After Eight, Iron Horse Literary Review, and numerous other literary journals. Her short story, “Ducklings” was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by Pleiades.

Memoir Excerpt: The White Deer

I can’t exactly say why I went to church on Saturday for the five o’clock mass, but that’s just what I did. I don’t know why that feels like I’m confessing to some dirty impulse–maybe it’s just that I’m still drawn to the liturgy–the music, the patterns of it–in spite of my exasperation with the Church. I hadn’t gone to church by myself since my teens, and as I walked into the sanctuary, I thought, okay, I’m home. When I’m with someone else–for Christmas Midnight Mass, or a funeral–I usually feel some tug of loss, a loss I can’t quite explain. But not this time. Maybe it helps that the church is a progressive church–many gay and lesbian parishioners, people of all ages and nationalities. Think of it as a Unitarian Church–but with communion. 

I’m usually not so big on homilies. I usually think of that as the time when the celebrant makes meaningless noises in order to fill up some space; time to look at the songbook, but this was different. He was talking about hospitality–what does it mean to welcome the people we love? I was thinking on that, my arms outstretched on the back of the pew, when a line of his jumped out at me: "The closer we get to someone, the more we must stand humbly before his freedom." Every molecule in me was turned to him. He said it once more, as if he wanted it to sink in. "The closer we get to someone, the more we must stand humbly before his freedom." What on earth could such a thing mean?

Later that night a friend told me about a white dog showing up at another friend’s house. The other friend looked at the dog’s tags–the address was three miles away, all the way on the other side of town. There were fireworks in town, extravagant fireworks, and it was likely the dog had run across woods, marshes, highways to get to the friend’s house. The friend looked out the door and saw what she thought was a white deer. But it wasn’t any white deer. It was a dog, a white fluffy dog, who walked right into her living room and dining room, muddy paws and all. The dog looked around a bit, submitted to the friend’s petting, then slumped, turned on his side and fell asleep.

The friend called the numbers on the dog’s tags. No one answered at the numbers. The friend left a message, and when she didn’t hear back after a while, she started to get suspicious. Maybe the dog was hers, the mystery beast coming up the street in the dark, out of the briars, the woods.

The next day the phone rang. A terse, gruff boy on the line, and the story comes darker, clearer. The dog’s human, his protector, his mother, drowned in the pool the night before. Did the dog see it happen? Did the dog jump in the water after her, try to rescue her? Was it a suicide, a heart attack, a slip off the side while she was heading back into the house with armful of dry clothes? The friend didn’t feel she had the right to such questions, but she did ask the boy–the woman’s daughter’s boyfriend–if he’d be willing to let the dog stay with her for a while. "He seems so comfortable here," she said. And the boy agreed to that, if reluctantly. And who could blame the friend if she started to make plans, if she thought about driving to the store for dog food. Life with the white dog, the white deer–and wasn’t she already relieved that she had a reason to keep herself from going so many places? A root in her midst. Finally, after so much running around.

I suppose I don’t need to say that the family wanted the dog back the next day. I suppose I don’t need to say that the friend was inconsolable, as the dog jumped in the back of the family’s car, so grateful to be back with his familiars. Of course his mother wouldn’t be there at the house when he jumped out of the car, but he didn’t know that yet. And all the losses of the friend rose up before her like ghosts turning to flesh, needing to be dealt with.

"The White Deer" is from a memoir-in-progress tentatively titled, I’D SURE LIKE TO SEE YOU, and first appeared in the online literary journal Sweet.

Paul Lisicky (www.paullisicky.com) is the author of Lawnboy, Famous Builder, and the forthcoming books The Burning House (2011) and Unbuilt Projects (2012). His work has appeared in Ploughshares, The Iowa Review, StoryQuarterly, The Seattle Review, Five Points, Subtropics, Gulf Coast, and many other anthologies and magazines.

Local Author Profile: Paul Lisicky

[img_assist|nid=6501|title=Paul Lisicky|desc=|link=node|align=right|width=150|height=182]Paul Lisicky is the keynote speaker for the fourth annual Push to Publish event at Rosemont College on October 16, 2010. A graduate of the Iowa Writer’s Workshop, Lisicky’s works have been published in many journals, including Ploughshares and StoryQuarterly, and he currently teaches at New York University. Lisicky is the author of a novel, Lawnboy, and a memoir, Famous Builder. He has also written two forthcoming books, the novel The Burning House (2011) and Unbuilt Projects (2012), a collection of short stories and essays. 

Your website says only that The Burning House is "a novel about the complexities of longing and desire." What else can you tell us about the story?

The story is about a man whose life unravels once his sister-in-law moves in. She evokes for him all the qualities that once drew him to his wife, and he’s a wreck about it, because he doesn’t want to tear up his settled life, doesn’t want to hurt his wife. On another level, the story is about the relationship between home and community life; the community where the story takes place is undergoing redevelopment, houses torn down right and left, houses turned into commodities. How does all that affect the life at home?

From where do you draw inspiration?

The moment in front of me, the moment ahead of me, the wish to transform that moment into something felt, active, remembered.

As the keynote speaker for Push to Publish, you will be sharing advice and wisdom with aspiring writers. What is the best piece of writing advice you’ve ever received?

I spent years writing what I thought I should write, what I imagined to be publishable. Things changed once I was given permission to write what (and how) I needed to write. I think that’s when my real writing began.

What made you want to write a memoir? How did you approach this project differently than your fiction?

I didn’t want to do another version of the novel I’d just written, and the shift in voice and stance helped me to access aspects of my character I’d never put on the page before. I don’t mean to be disingenuous, but it didn’t feel so much like a decision. I just happened to be writing an essay for fun one day, a piece about my childhood next door neighbor, who happened to be both an avatar of style and a bit of a nutbasket, and the voice that came out sounded looser than anything I’d done before.

How much do your novels reflect your real life?

I’d say they’re emotionally autobiographical but they’re not literally autobiographical. The feelings are certainly real, but not the facts.

You are releasing a collection called Unbuilt Projects. Given the similarity in titles, is there any connection to Famous Builder? What binds the pieces together into a unit?

The thread of building and community planning certainly binds all my books. And I deliberately wanted Unbuilt Projects to talk back to Famous Builder. Famous Builder is my attempt to locate my family in time, to think about how a certain historical moment informed how we thought about identity, memory, social aspiration, art. Unbuilt Projects, on the other hand, deconstructs the family narrative. My mother developed senile dementia in the last years of her life, and once she lost the major signposts of her memory, the whole family story seemed to go down with it. We didn’t know that her allegiance to story was in fact holding us together, and once her mind went, who were we?

Read more about Paul Lisicky and his work at www.paullisicky.com.

Waiting for October 8th

From my window in the forest
I look out at a canopy
so thick I need candles in the
day in order to read or write.

There is one hole in the dark leaves
through which I see beyond my world;
today a red tail hawk flew by,
a mouse struggling in its talons;

the day before, a murder of
crows, shiny black and loud, filled my
hole, and three days earlier a
jetliner. I found it in my

book of airplane silhouettes, an
Airbus 300A. In seats
eighteen A and B a couple
hold hands, speaking in soft low tones,

heading for St. Petersburg where
his mother is dying; twenty
six C, an old man nods and dreams.
All this I see from my book. Once

a year, on October 8th, the
sun shines through my hole, a bright beam
fills the room and hitting the prism
I carefully placed, breaks into

shards of jangling light. Within a
month autumn leaves will have fallen,
the open sky crossed by gray limbs
and their terrible ragged branches.

Soon they will have a shell of ice
and snow as hawks and planes fly by,
and crows sit watching, silent in
the early winter dusk. There will

be days when sunlight hits these trees,
loosening their frozen cover
which, thawing, will drip to the ground,
tears in the cold dead of the year.Wilson Roberts was born and raised in Newtown, Bucks County. His novels, The Cold Dark Heart of the World (2008), The Serpent and the Hummingbird (2009), and Incident on Tuckerman Court (2010) are published under the Fantastic Books imprint of Wilder Publications. His poetry and short fiction has appeared in a number of small journals. A certified mediator, he works primarily in small claims court and with a pilot program mediating between state agencies, the courts, and families whose children have been placed into foster care. His short fiction, "Against the Dying," appears in the current issue of the Massachusetts Review.

Atlantic City

Blues emerge from the Jersey shore’s
salty spray, spitting white froth on boardwalks
lit up from Atlantic City. I close my eyes to neon
glow and gamblers’ stumbles. When you died,
I could hear reverberations of the weeping
tears that Shah Jehan spilled at the absence of his lover,
howling out from a counterfeit Taj Mahal.
Lying under tattered covers as a child, I never knew how
the miles of weathered wood here would hold
reminders of all we could lose to the restless waters –
recurring spilt sorrow that dampens the cracked planks
we once trampled over.Jean YeoJin Sung was born in Seoul, South Korea and raised in Cherry Hill, NJ. She received her MFA in Creative Writing from Rutgers University – Newark. She received her BA from NYU’s Gallatin School where she was awarded the Herbert J. Rubin Award for Poetry and her MPA from NYU’s Wagner School of Public Service. She has previously published in Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, Contrary Magazine, The 322 Review, and Salome. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

Esopus Spitzenberg, 1927

By mid-October, there are so few from the old
yard left, those leaf-bright orbs, here yellow
and russet, wind-stroked but wormfree:
apples. Even the word is firm
on your tongue, tart, oversweet and old.

You’re hungry.

They go like this: one, for when you fell
out of the tree, every fruit loosen’d
from your grasp by the time you bent
over a broken wrist. You were
eight. No, younger. This fruit is cool
to the core; so good.

And oh, two: the day you saw the depth
of your father’s ache. He wouldn’t last
a year. Three for all the exams
you passed without having heeded
the lecture, and four for the baby’s
breath shed from your double breast

like all this world’s long, tired days,
every bough bent as a burrow. The fifth
is for the road. Weigh it in your palm, shroud
it with warm fingers; save it for a while. Think
on green-white flesh pocketed by seeds: dark
arsenic hearts naturally formed, and knowing.Gwen Wille lives and works in West Chester, PA. She studied writing at the University of New Mexico. Her work has appeared in Crow Toes Quarterly, Writers’ Bloc, previously in Philadelphia Stories, and others.